I am really fortunate to have some really amazing colleagues in this field. Recently, the CEO of Lucky Bloke Condoms wrote to me and asked for my input on an article. She was polling sex educators, activists, and sexperts for their thoughts on “Things I Should Have Been Taught in SexEd”. What resulted was this article on www.huffingtonpost.com.
Yours truly is listed in that article at number 10. My complete response was as follows:
In America, a lot of parents seem to overlook teaching about Consent when they talk to their children. They don’t seem to think of it as something that relates to sex, and therefore, they forget or neglect to teach about it. It is, however, very important for children to learn about boundaries. Children need to learn to able to say “yes”, “no” and to know how to accept the answer when someone says “no” – this includes no negotiating, nagging, or persisting. Children also need to learn the importance of “Do No Harm” as it relates to someone or something else. Teach them if it doesn’t feel good then they have the right to have the activity stop. If you think about this in terms of when kids are roughhousing or tickling – if someone is tickling and it’s too much, sometimes adults forget this and persist until the child is disturbed or upset. Kids need to know when to stop and when to speak up as well. Practicing this helps them when they are 2, 12, or 22 years of age. Learning about Consent is a skill they will use throughout their lives.
I hope you enjoy this article. There are some amazing nuggets of wisdom from really amazing sexperts in there. I hope someday that these bits of inspiration truly are taught in sexuality education.