behind the scenes images of how we like to connect

Posted in   Blog   on  January 24, 2022 by  Lanae minutes remaining

Have you ever felt silly because you don’t really know how to answer “What do you like?”

Not gonna lie…

I was hesitant to admit this in writing

…because it’s basically the written version of a reality TV show. Kinda dull when it’s not scripted.

Because SERIOUSLY, while things are great here, I don’t live a life of pure exotic pleasures 365/24/7.

Most days are me sitting at my desk writing, tweaking some page on my website, on zoom coaching calls with clients, chatting in messenger with my friend Marie about our upcoming Chocolate After Dark offer, and contemplating what’s in the fridge to make something for dinner tonight.

Thrilling, right?

But, I get asked all the time, “how do I find out what I like?”

The truth is, to know what you like in the bedroom, try to explore what you like outside the bedroom first. Namely, in situations that aren’t just those sexy times.

For example, my partner Ragnar and I find moments throughout the day to connect with each other. It kinda looks like how cats play with humans. Yeah, I know it sounds strange. That’s the best way to describe it.

Spoiler alert – we’re pretty normal, unglamorous people – no camera-ready lewks or ‘fit of the day here.

Below are some BTS pics of us here at home

These behind-the-scenes images are a HUGE vulnerable share for me. Like I said in the email – so not glamourous! (I really should put filters on these…)

Thanks for peeping. What are your favorite, perhaps non-sexual, ways of connecting to your beloved? Pop it into the comments and let me know.



About the Author Lanae

Dr. Lanae St.John is a Diplomate of the American Board of Sexology and certified sex coach with a background in sexology and a passion for helping people improve their sexual health and relationships. She is the author of "Read Me: A Parental Primer for "The Talk"" and the upcoming "You Are the One: How stopping the search and looking inside will lead you to your romantic destiny," and is committed to staying up-to-date on the latest research and trends in the field. Dr. St.John aims to share her knowledge and expertise in a relatable and approachable way through her blog on

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