What? No.
What makes a person unattractive is insecurity and a lack of confidence. In fact, those two things together make you an easy target for exactly the WRONG person who would want to date you. They would see you as easy prey. It can be a set up for all kinds of unhealthy relationship habits.
Do what you can to try to identify what qualities you would like in a partner and see how much of those qualities you have to offer. If you're lacking, think of ways you can change that. For example, If you're low on self esteem, maybe hang out with people who build each other up instead of people who reply sarcastically.
I notice your question sounds like it's coming from a place of shaming yourself for where you are. There is NOTHING wrong with not yet having a romantic relationship. You are a whole person already WITHOUT a partner. Our crappy culture gives boys and girls this message that they should already be partnered from the youngest age and it's just weird.
Make friends with folks who help you be your best self and that ideal person just might show up when you least expect it.
What? No.
What makes a person unattractive is insecurity and a lack of confidence. In fact, those two things together make you an easy target for exactly the WRONG person who would want to date you. They would see you as easy prey. It can be a set up for all kinds of unhealthy relationship habits.
Do what you can to try to identify what qualities you would like in a partner and see how much of those qualities you have to offer. If you're lacking, think of ways you can change that. For example, If you're low on self esteem, maybe hang out with people who build each other up instead of people who reply sarcastically.
I notice your question sounds like it's coming from a place of shaming yourself for where you are. There is NOTHING wrong with not yet having a romantic relationship. You are a whole person already WITHOUT a partner. Our crappy culture gives boys and girls this message that they should already be partnered from the youngest age and it's just weird.
Make friends with folks who help you be your best self and that ideal person just might show up when you least expect it.
Eh, forget that guy.
Why is he mad? He's just bitter because you won't have sex with him, and he assumes that if you liked him you'd be more likely to have sex with him.
He could also be saying he's mad to manipulate you to have sex with him, playing on a notion that you wouldn't want to make him mad at you. (See how screwed up that is??) A manipulation, pure and simple.
Fuck that guy (but not literally).
Eh, forget that guy.
Why is he mad? He's just bitter because you won't have sex with him, and he assumes that if you liked him you'd be more likely to have sex with him.
He could also be saying he's mad to manipulate you to have sex with him, playing on a notion that you wouldn't want to make him mad at you. (See how screwed up that is??) A manipulation, pure and simple.
Fuck that guy (but not literally).
That doesn't sound like a conversation that would go anywhere. It seem like he's got serious rejection issues that he could use some help with BUT it's NOT YOUR JOB to fix him.
I'd hate to meet that guy bc he sounds like he's a soda can that is about to burst. Yikes.
You are not obligated to respond to him.
That doesn't sound like a conversation that would go anywhere. It seem like he's got serious rejection issues that he could use some help with BUT it's NOT YOUR JOB to fix him.
I'd hate to meet that guy bc he sounds like he's a soda can that is about to burst. Yikes.
You are not obligated to respond to him.
Relax. There could be any reason he said thank you. At least he's appreciative. Screaming and running away from you would have been worse. I'm sure it took him by surprise. Besides, even Han Solo messed up that response with Princess Leia the first time. Let me share a little story: This actually happened to me with a guy I was dating once. I told him that I thought I was falling in love with him - of course lots of alcohol was involved. He said, hmm. I was kicking myself! Omg. What did I say? I ruined it! But at the same time I was saying to myself, you know what? That is really how I feel. If he can't handle me speaking truthfully then he's not the one for me. I called him to the next morning to explain: it was less .I want to get engaged and get married and more. I can see spending a lot more time with you. He thanked me for the clarification. He told me that the woman he'd recently dated gave him an ultimatum and he wasn't ready to commit just yet. We kept in contact, but weren't dating. We developed a friendship over time. Six months later, after we'd both dated other people, we decided to start spending more time together. Well, I started inviting him to join me to a bunch of events with me and my friends and he accepted. He jokes that I filled up his social calendar. Eventually, one night he said to me, you know I love you. He wasn't used to saying, I love you and this was his way of saying it. It's now been about 5 years and we are still together. And we do say I love you to each other daily now. I'm not saying your situation will end up like this but I want to illustrate that I didn't beat myself up about it. You shouldn't either. I understand how it feels like rejection and that sucks. Give yourself credit for putting your feelings out there. If he is mean in any way to you as a result of you sharing this vulnerability, then f*ck that guy. (But not literally. He doesn?t deserve you for sure!) Trust me that someone who is capable of a healthy relationship can and will reciprocate your feelings when the time is right. Take this time to examine for yourself what love is. What does it mean to you? Is it conditional? Unconditional? How do you show up in the relationship? How does he? What are your models for loving relationships? Are they healthy examples (for example, the movie Twilight has some messed up examples and probably shouldn?t be your model). In the classes I teach when we talk about love, we talk about concepts like proximity (as physical closeness, not sexual closeness), similarity (having similar goals and aspirations), physical attractiveness, and reciprocity (doing nice things for each other, that's it's not just one sided). We also talk about Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love - Intimacy, Passion, Committment, and Consummate Love. Google it and see where you would put yourself. Again, try not to stress out. Just breathe. And notice that what you fell in love with in him is probably a part of you that you can love too.
Relax. There could be any reason he said thank you. At least he's appreciative. Screaming and running away from you would have been worse. I'm sure it took him by surprise. Besides, even Han Solo messed up that response with Princess Leia the first time. Let me share a little story: This actually happened to me with a guy I was dating once. I told him that I thought I was falling in love with him - of course lots of alcohol was involved. He said, hmm. I was kicking myself! Omg. What did I say? I ruined it! But at the same time I was saying to myself, you know what? That is really how I feel. If he can't handle me speaking truthfully then he's not the one for me. I called him to the next morning to explain: it was less .I want to get engaged and get married and more. I can see spending a lot more time with you. He thanked me for the clarification. He told me that the woman he'd recently dated gave him an ultimatum and he wasn't ready to commit just yet. We kept in contact, but weren't dating. We developed a friendship over time. Six months later, after we'd both dated other people, we decided to start spending more time together. Well, I started inviting him to join me to a bunch of events with me and my friends and he accepted. He jokes that I filled up his social calendar. Eventually, one night he said to me, you know I love you. He wasn't used to saying, I love you and this was his way of saying it. It's now been about 5 years and we are still together. And we do say I love you to each other daily now. I'm not saying your situation will end up like this but I want to illustrate that I didn't beat myself up about it. You shouldn't either. I understand how it feels like rejection and that sucks. Give yourself credit for putting your feelings out there. If he is mean in any way to you as a result of you sharing this vulnerability, then f*ck that guy. (But not literally. He doesn?t deserve you for sure!) Trust me that someone who is capable of a healthy relationship can and will reciprocate your feelings when the time is right. Take this time to examine for yourself what love is. What does it mean to you? Is it conditional? Unconditional? How do you show up in the relationship? How does he? What are your models for loving relationships? Are they healthy examples (for example, the movie Twilight has some messed up examples and probably shouldn?t be your model). In the classes I teach when we talk about love, we talk about concepts like proximity (as physical closeness, not sexual closeness), similarity (having similar goals and aspirations), physical attractiveness, and reciprocity (doing nice things for each other, that's it's not just one sided). We also talk about Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love - Intimacy, Passion, Committment, and Consummate Love. Google it and see where you would put yourself. Again, try not to stress out. Just breathe. And notice that what you fell in love with in him is probably a part of you that you can love too.
Suddenly?? How long has it been since you last had communication?
My take, He's prepping a back up plan. You're his Plan B. Fuck that. Ignore and delete. No need to engage. He's likely cheating on her now. Seems he doesn't have good boundaries and you don't need to get sucked in to that.
Suddenly?? How long has it been since you last had communication?
My take, He's prepping a back up plan. You're his Plan B. Fuck that. Ignore and delete. No need to engage. He's likely cheating on her now. Seems he doesn't have good boundaries and you don't need to get sucked in to that.
Honey, I don't think it's up to you to become better. If you can't trust him then I'm afraid the relationship is lost.
Of course you've become controlling. That's a natural reaction to your situation. It's not a healthy one, but it's pretty common after such betrayal.
I personally think if he was the cheater (and he agrees your relationship should continue) then he's obligated to change his cheating behavior to make it work. That means he acts in ways that give you some assurances that he can be trusted again. Same would apply if a woman was the cheater.
Breaking down the reasons why he cheated or identifying the opportunities he took to cheat could help him notice if he's feeling the need again. I don't know him but I'm sure his cheating wasn't about you at all (even though it feels hella disrespectful) but was completely about him figuring something out about himself.
Don't beat yourself up or think YOURE the problem here. His behavior brought this on and he's the one who should be asking Quora what he can do to be better.
Honey, I don't think it's up to you to become better. If you can't trust him then I'm afraid the relationship is lost.
Of course you've become controlling. That's a natural reaction to your situation. It's not a healthy one, but it's pretty common after such betrayal.
I personally think if he was the cheater (and he agrees your relationship should continue) then he's obligated to change his cheating behavior to make it work. That means he acts in ways that give you some assurances that he can be trusted again. Same would apply if a woman was the cheater.
Breaking down the reasons why he cheated or identifying the opportunities he took to cheat could help him notice if he's feeling the need again. I don't know him but I'm sure his cheating wasn't about you at all (even though it feels hella disrespectful) but was completely about him figuring something out about himself.
Don't beat yourself up or think YOURE the problem here. His behavior brought this on and he's the one who should be asking Quora what he can do to be better.
I'd say the best person to ask would be your partner. In my opinion, the two of you can come up with any solution you can both agree to as long as neither of you have felt coerced in making the agreement. You are not obligated to do what other people do just because that's the way it is. I presume you are both smart, respectful, consenting adults who can communicate your feelings, and you will need to, especially when it comes to the time when one or both of you feel a need to renegotiate your relationship agreement. Some people are fine with going along in a relationship leaving things left unsaid. To me, I feel the question you pose boils down to respect. I personally would prefer to explicitly outline some needs, wants, and desires as well as expectations. My partner doesn't have to meet all of those or even do as I wish. We all have free will. Only I get to decide which of my list would be dealbreakers if not met. It may happen that some people will fail to uphold their end of the bargain. You could even calculate what you will do if / when someone violates your relationship agreement. I would say the only obligation you have to your partner would be to communicate. When communication stops, then the relationship is usually headed for trouble.
I'd say the best person to ask would be your partner. In my opinion, the two of you can come up with any solution you can both agree to as long as neither of you have felt coerced in making the agreement. You are not obligated to do what other people do just because that's the way it is. I presume you are both smart, respectful, consenting adults who can communicate your feelings, and you will need to, especially when it comes to the time when one or both of you feel a need to renegotiate your relationship agreement. Some people are fine with going along in a relationship leaving things left unsaid. To me, I feel the question you pose boils down to respect. I personally would prefer to explicitly outline some needs, wants, and desires as well as expectations. My partner doesn't have to meet all of those or even do as I wish. We all have free will. Only I get to decide which of my list would be dealbreakers if not met. It may happen that some people will fail to uphold their end of the bargain. You could even calculate what you will do if / when someone violates your relationship agreement. I would say the only obligation you have to your partner would be to communicate. When communication stops, then the relationship is usually headed for trouble.
For some people, sure. Some people use the pictures to decide who they want to reach out to.
Sadly, some percentage of people put pics up that do not represent what they look like currently so it can be a ruse.
For some people, sure. Some people use the pictures to decide who they want to reach out to.
Sadly, some percentage of people put pics up that do not represent what they look like currently so it can be a ruse.
In fact, there was a moment when I met the guy I'm with now, early into our dating where after more than a few drinks* I told him I think I'm falling in love with you?. He said, hmmm. I was stunned that it came out of my mouth! The next am I called him and explained it was less I want to get engaged and get married? and more ?.I could see spending a lot more time with you?. He understood and explained that the last woman he dated gave him an ultimatum about getting engaged.
In fact, there was a moment when I met the guy I'm with now, early into our dating where after more than a few drinks* I told him I think I'm falling in love with you?. He said, hmmm. I was stunned that it came out of my mouth! The next am I called him and explained it was less I want to get engaged and get married? and more ?.I could see spending a lot more time with you?. He understood and explained that the last woman he dated gave him an ultimatum about getting engaged.
Does Christianity preclude consent?
I?m not an expert in Christianity (I was raised Roman Catholic) but what phrase in the Bible has you thinking having sex with a bed ridden husband is a requirement?
Regardless of your religion, I believe you are not required to do anything, sexually or otherwise, that grosses you out. Your body, your choice. Otherwise, it?s a form of indentured servitude.
Does Christianity preclude consent?
I?m not an expert in Christianity (I was raised Roman Catholic) but what phrase in the Bible has you thinking having sex with a bed ridden husband is a requirement?
Regardless of your religion, I believe you are not required to do anything, sexually or otherwise, that grosses you out. Your body, your choice. Otherwise, it?s a form of indentured servitude.