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divorce Question & Answer


I watched the video.

Seems your question is a much broader question just tangential to the video. To that I answer, ?not all women.?

The unspoken issue I hear in your question is anger or hurt. Is that correct?


Published Date : 8/4/2018

I watched the video.

Seems your question is a much broader question just tangential to the video. To that I answer, ?not all women.?

The unspoken issue I hear in your question is anger or hurt. Is that correct?


Published Date : 8/4/2018

I'm divorced. So I'll start with that.

Lately?? Maybe in your friend circle but divorce has been happening for a while now.

I don't wonder why marriage doesn't last. I've lived it and learned from it.

Our society's issues heading into marriage have more to do with our poor communication skills, the unspoken expectations we have in entering a pairing, thinking sex and/or chemistry is the best predictor of relationship success, failing to put importance on a couples level of friendship and intimacy (not sexual), respect of your partner, making assumptions about your partner's behavior, thinking of your partner as your parent, and crappy models of relationships we were raised around. That's just off the top of my head.

If you find yourself being secretive about anything with your partner, then that's not a good thing.

You may have tried to be open or honest and then registered even the slightest micro reaction in them to what you did or said - that may have been the cause for you to keep things from them. Maybe you judged their reaction as unsafe. Either way, that likely causes you to not want to further engage in an honest way for that topic. It may extend to other topics eventually. And that's also bad.

My suggestion? Develop better Communication Skills. And take part in therapy (your own or together) to give you tools to communicate. And help our kids develop these skills as well so they can ideally find partners who can communicate with them when it comes time.


Published Date : 7/9/2019

I'm divorced. So I'll start with that.

Lately?? Maybe in your friend circle but divorce has been happening for a while now.

I don't wonder why marriage doesn't last. I've lived it and learned from it.

Our society's issues heading into marriage have more to do with our poor communication skills, the unspoken expectations we have in entering a pairing, thinking sex and/or chemistry is the best predictor of relationship success, failing to put importance on a couples level of friendship and intimacy (not sexual), respect of your partner, making assumptions about your partner's behavior, thinking of your partner as your parent, and crappy models of relationships we were raised around. That's just off the top of my head.

If you find yourself being secretive about anything with your partner, then that's not a good thing.

You may have tried to be open or honest and then registered even the slightest micro reaction in them to what you did or said - that may have been the cause for you to keep things from them. Maybe you judged their reaction as unsafe. Either way, that likely causes you to not want to further engage in an honest way for that topic. It may extend to other topics eventually. And that's also bad.

My suggestion? Develop better Communication Skills. And take part in therapy (your own or together) to give you tools to communicate. And help our kids develop these skills as well so they can ideally find partners who can communicate with them when it comes time.


Published Date : 7/9/2019

He won't because he doesn't have to. He's got you on the side, an emotional and physical crutch most likely.

It's not gonna get better honey. In fact, what he's doing with you he's likely do TO YOU if you did get together post divorce.

I learned my lesson about guys who were separated as well. There's so much drama. Oh. My. God. The drama. I had to set some serious boundaries because hearing the shit was like reliving my own divorce. Painful. I got to the point that guys had to be divorced. Like final final. I was ready to ask for paperwork if I had any suspicions. (Didn't have to thankfully).

My advice Get out. The timeline is not a quick one in any way you slice it. Go find someone fully available (unless you yourself aren't really fully emotionally available, then you'll just keep attracting these guys).


Published Date : 3/27/2019

He won't because he doesn't have to. He's got you on the side, an emotional and physical crutch most likely.

It's not gonna get better honey. In fact, what he's doing with you he's likely do TO YOU if you did get together post divorce.

I learned my lesson about guys who were separated as well. There's so much drama. Oh. My. God. The drama. I had to set some serious boundaries because hearing the shit was like reliving my own divorce. Painful. I got to the point that guys had to be divorced. Like final final. I was ready to ask for paperwork if I had any suspicions. (Didn't have to thankfully).

My advice Get out. The timeline is not a quick one in any way you slice it. Go find someone fully available (unless you yourself aren't really fully emotionally available, then you'll just keep attracting these guys).


Published Date : 3/27/2019

If you asked me this a year or two out of my marriage I would have said NO WAY! I do NOT want to marry again! A few more years down this path I have a different idea - AND a different idea of how I'd want the marriage ceremony to go.

You can design your relationship however the two of you agree. Don't necessarily take the off-the-shelf version everyone else does just because that's how it's done. Really think it through what you both need for this journey. And then do that.

The drawn out divorces are shitty for sure. If you can commit to being friends and uphold that at then very least then I think there's less likelyhood of things ending up contentious again.


Published Date : 12/9/2018

If you asked me this a year or two out of my marriage I would have said NO WAY! I do NOT want to marry again! A few more years down this path I have a different idea - AND a different idea of how I'd want the marriage ceremony to go.

You can design your relationship however the two of you agree. Don't necessarily take the off-the-shelf version everyone else does just because that's how it's done. Really think it through what you both need for this journey. And then do that.

The drawn out divorces are shitty for sure. If you can commit to being friends and uphold that at then very least then I think there's less likelyhood of things ending up contentious again.


Published Date : 12/9/2018

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