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virginity Question & Answer


What? No.What makes a person unattractive is insecurity and a lack of confidence. In fact, those two things together make you an easy target for exactly the WRONG person who would want to date you. They would see you as easy prey. It can be a set up for all kinds of unhealthy relationship habits.Do what you can to try to identify what qualities you would like in a partner and see how much of those qualities you have to offer. If you're lacking, think of ways you can change that. For example, If you're low on self esteem, maybe hang out with people who build each other up instead of people who reply sarcastically.I notice your question sounds like it's coming from a place of shaming yourself for where you are. There is NOTHING wrong with not yet having a romantic relationship. You are a whole person already WITHOUT a partner. Our crappy culture gives boys and girls this message that they should already be partnered from the youngest age and it's just weird.Make friends with folks who help you be your best self and that ideal person just might show up when you least expect it....
Published Date : 5/9/2019

Yes. People think one HAS to bleed when they first have sex. No, not everyone bleeds the first time they have penis in vagina sexual intercourse.The hymen is not a freshness seal....
Published Date : 9/13/2018

There is no answer for this. It is up to you. You can stay a virgin for as LONG AS YOU WANT.Your body belongs to you and you get to choose what you want to do with it. You can color, curl, or straighten your hair, or not. You can shave hair off parts of it, or not. You can explore your body, or not. Totally up to you.If anyone gives you a hard time about any of your choices, they are not your friend. If anyone pressures you, that is coercion - you can push back and refuse because your body doesn't have to put up with bullies. Inside you're a badass woman who just hasn't blossomed yet. Using your voice to say no when stuff like that happens is how you get closer and closer to your Inner Badass.Signed,An elder badass woman, who was much older than you are now when she finally had sexual intercourse for the first time (and I didn't use my voice then when I should have)....
Published Date : 9/13/2018

No.?Virginity? is traditionally defined as ?lost? when a penis enters a vagina.?Virginity? is also a social construct. It?s an arbitrary marker that is rooted in heterosexism and patriarchy.I prefer the concept of a ?sexual debut.? One where YOU get to define when you become sexual (otherwise known as ?losing your virginity?). If using a dildo marks the beginning of your sexual experiences, great! If your first orgasm with a partner does, that?s fine too. You could have many sexual debuts. And none of them take anything away from you....
Published Date : 8/24/2018

Only to those who still believe in virginity.As it is, virginity is a social construct. Patriarchal and heterocentric. How do LGBTQ+ folks lose their virginity?? When people are raped for their first sexual experience, does the victim have to count that as the moment they lost their virginity??I prefer to use the concept of sexual debut, defined by the individual. First kiss. First orgasm. First orgasm with a partner. You decide. It could be any one act or many acts. Totally your choice....
Published Date : 11/21/2019

Ugh. Don't even try.Virginity is a social construct. You don't need to ?prove your virginity nor be concerned about it at all, truly.(click here for more of my thoughts on ?virginity?)If someone is really concerned about it and asking you if you are a virgin?, just ignore them. Let them harass someone else.Edited to add: Consider this too - how could a man even prove if he was a virgin?? See how bullshit this standard is?That women have to prove this thing? Men can use guilt and shame to make women feel dirty? or ?shameful? if they aren't following this patriarchal construct. Ridiculous....
Published Date : 10/30/2019

Please restate the question. I don't understand....
Published Date : 8/2/2018

She lost it? Is she trying to find it again? Or are you asking in a serious way for a situation where it was not her choice to lose her virginity??I'm curious because you're asking how you should act. She's your friend. Ask her how she feels about it. And then sit with her in whatever feelings she has. Happiness Celebrate with her! Regret? Listen to her why. Sadness Be a shoulder for her to cry on. Feeling like that first time should have been more special? Tell her an internet full of women feel that too. Whatever she's feeling, just listen and support.You could also consider, what would YOU want your friend to do for you when you have YOUR sexual debut (my preferred term instead of losing one's virginity?. That phrase is patriarchy defined and simply a social construct)....
Published Date : 9/13/2018

It's not the same, really. Virginity is a social construct used to control women by placing a false value on their virtue perpetuated by the same folks passing legislation in Ohio and Georgia today in May 2019.In reality, virginity is bullshit.I wrote about sexual debuts in my upcoming book. It's self-defined and a person can have many sexual debuts. That boy in question can define for himself what behavior constitutes his sexual debut....
Published Date : 5/11/2019

There's no freshness seal in place of the hymen. Patriarchy has told you lies to make you judge only certain women worthy. It's BS.Now, go storm the patriarchy for lying to you all this time! Join the legions of women who are rising up and not taking it anymore! #patriarchysucks...
Published Date : 5/10/2019

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