Lube.
Use lube. Lubrication is a good thing and there's no shame in using it. Anyone who might shame you for using it is an uninformed jerk (besides, guys use it to beat off so why shouldn't we??)
There are all kinds of lube out there for all kinds of acts/situations/preferences. Here's a comprehensive guide to what's what:
http://www.thecsph.org/adultsexe...
Some sex stores provide samples to try before you buy. Bonus tip, some of the lube like silicone lube can be used on bike chains too! #mundaneable
There are lots of contributing factors for why a person might need lube - diet, medications, aging, etc. Get used to using it before you should need it
Lube.
Use lube. Lubrication is a good thing and there's no shame in using it. Anyone who might shame you for using it is an uninformed jerk (besides, guys use it to beat off so why shouldn't we??)
There are all kinds of lube out there for all kinds of acts/situations/preferences. Here's a comprehensive guide to what's what:
http://www.thecsph.org/adultsexe...
Some sex stores provide samples to try before you buy. Bonus tip, some of the lube like silicone lube can be used on bike chains too! #mundaneable
There are lots of contributing factors for why a person might need lube - diet, medications, aging, etc. Get used to using it before you should need it
I mean, if cum is still dripping out of you I'm sure they'd guess recently??? (Graphic, I know. Sorry, it was intended to be for comedic effect) If it was good sex the smile on your face might be the giveaway. ;)
Are you afraid of being judged by your OB/GYN? The good doctors won't do that to you. If you recently had sex before your check up appointment I'm sure they'll have a smile on their face. No need to worry about anything.
I mean, if cum is still dripping out of you I'm sure they'd guess recently??? (Graphic, I know. Sorry, it was intended to be for comedic effect) If it was good sex the smile on your face might be the giveaway. ;)
Are you afraid of being judged by your OB/GYN? The good doctors won't do that to you. If you recently had sex before your check up appointment I'm sure they'll have a smile on their face. No need to worry about anything.
How do you get over the fear of showing your boyfriend your vagina? Look at it with a hand held mirror yourself a few times to get used to it. Get a diagram of the vulva and see if you can identify the corresponding parts on your own anatomy. Notice the color variations, the textures, the shapes.
The exercise sounds ridiculous but trust me, you will likely develop a new appreciation for this hidden but essential part of YOU.
Then ask yourself what you're scared of? Is it that your boyfriend may not accept you and her? Then?
Anyone who isn't immediately worshipping you and this part of your body doesn't deserve to be there. Truly.
How do you get over the fear of showing your boyfriend your vagina? Look at it with a hand held mirror yourself a few times to get used to it. Get a diagram of the vulva and see if you can identify the corresponding parts on your own anatomy. Notice the color variations, the textures, the shapes.
The exercise sounds ridiculous but trust me, you will likely develop a new appreciation for this hidden but essential part of YOU.
Then ask yourself what you're scared of? Is it that your boyfriend may not accept you and her? Then?
Anyone who isn't immediately worshipping you and this part of your body doesn't deserve to be there. Truly.
Weird feelings?? Must be like the weird feelings I have about hearing why you think her taking birth control is any of your business.
Sure you could stop liking her. That's your prerogative.
I challenge you to examine why you would stop liking someone because she is on birth control. Do you actually know the reason she is using birth control or are you making an assumption? Did you know there are other health benefits women get out of using birth control besides preventing pregnancy? Maybe you could do a bit of research to find out the many ways birth control helps and how.
Even if using birth control is to solely to prevent pregnancy then good for her! She must have values, goals, and plans for what she wants to accomplish with her life before she decides to have a baby.
If you cannot or don't want to understand the steps a woman will take to care for her sexual health, then you're better off focusing your attention elsewhere. Let her do her thing.
Weird feelings?? Must be like the weird feelings I have about hearing why you think her taking birth control is any of your business.
Sure you could stop liking her. That's your prerogative.
I challenge you to examine why you would stop liking someone because she is on birth control. Do you actually know the reason she is using birth control or are you making an assumption? Did you know there are other health benefits women get out of using birth control besides preventing pregnancy? Maybe you could do a bit of research to find out the many ways birth control helps and how.
Even if using birth control is to solely to prevent pregnancy then good for her! She must have values, goals, and plans for what she wants to accomplish with her life before she decides to have a baby.
If you cannot or don't want to understand the steps a woman will take to care for her sexual health, then you're better off focusing your attention elsewhere. Let her do her thing.
Your hymen is not a freshness seal?. Virginity or purity tests are creepy, patriarchal bullshit designed to let gross old men finger young women to determine their virginity?. Disgusting. This practice MUST stop.
If you've already had sex, then you've already had sex. Bleeding is not a sign of losing one's virginity because the hymen, if present, can tear open for many, many different reasons.
The hymen doesn't seal itself back shut if you don't have sex for a while. Mainly because your vaginal opening is not a wound.
Your hymen is not a freshness seal?. Virginity or purity tests are creepy, patriarchal bullshit designed to let gross old men finger young women to determine their virginity?. Disgusting. This practice MUST stop.
If you've already had sex, then you've already had sex. Bleeding is not a sign of losing one's virginity because the hymen, if present, can tear open for many, many different reasons.
The hymen doesn't seal itself back shut if you don't have sex for a while. Mainly because your vaginal opening is not a wound.
Short answer: YES. I'd rather have my daughters learn about what feels good to them in their bodies before they begin to have encounters with others. I would never want them to rely on another person to give them pleasure like I did (I thought the first man to give me an orgasm was magic. Spoiler alert: he wasn't). Explore your own body on your terms. It's yours after all. Figure out what feels good and what doesn't. Also, feel free to grab a mirror and look at your vulva and do a genital self-exam to see what everything looks like down there. (My latest blog post is on this subject). Get used to it. Then, if you notice any changes, you can bring it up with confidence to your physician.
Short answer: YES. I'd rather have my daughters learn about what feels good to them in their bodies before they begin to have encounters with others. I would never want them to rely on another person to give them pleasure like I did (I thought the first man to give me an orgasm was magic. Spoiler alert: he wasn't). Explore your own body on your terms. It's yours after all. Figure out what feels good and what doesn't. Also, feel free to grab a mirror and look at your vulva and do a genital self-exam to see what everything looks like down there. (My latest blog post is on this subject). Get used to it. Then, if you notice any changes, you can bring it up with confidence to your physician.
To try to give you a sense for the feeling a person with a vulva feels when they rub their clitoris, let me share a few facts. Same tissue. In utero, we all start out the same - female. That is until sex differentiation occurs. Remember that the clitoris and the penis are homologous tissue, just like the scrotum and the the labia are related. Similar tissue, different function. Speaking of function, a penis has 4 different functions: urination, penetration, ejaculation, and pleasure. The clitoris has just one biological function: pleasure. Imagine having a part whose sole purpose is for pleasure. And if we are talking about pleasure, we cannot leave out nerve endings. There are ~4000 nerves in the head of the penis. Now consider in comparison, the relative size of the clitoris. What would you think if I told you that the clitoris has double the nerves ~8000(!) nerve endings in the clitoris. Yup. It's true. (Edited to clarify: It's all the same tissue, so conceivably there are also 8k nerve endings spread throughout the penis/shaft/glans. I haven't seen data on the number of nerve endings removed or injured during circumcision. Not intending to begin an argument about male or female circumcision yet it would be difficult to imagine the number is zero.) Can you get a sense for the feeling a person who has a vulva can get now? I hope this helps you to honor and revere the womxn in your life. There's no need to be jealous or try to control womxn - celebrate what God/nature/the Universe has blessed them with. Show respect for that gift.
To try to give you a sense for the feeling a person with a vulva feels when they rub their clitoris, let me share a few facts. Same tissue. In utero, we all start out the same - female. That is until sex differentiation occurs. Remember that the clitoris and the penis are homologous tissue, just like the scrotum and the the labia are related. Similar tissue, different function. Speaking of function, a penis has 4 different functions: urination, penetration, ejaculation, and pleasure. The clitoris has just one biological function: pleasure. Imagine having a part whose sole purpose is for pleasure. And if we are talking about pleasure, we cannot leave out nerve endings. There are ~4000 nerves in the head of the penis. Now consider in comparison, the relative size of the clitoris. What would you think if I told you that the clitoris has double the nerves ~8000(!) nerve endings in the clitoris. Yup. It's true. (Edited to clarify: It's all the same tissue, so conceivably there are also 8k nerve endings spread throughout the penis/shaft/glans. I haven't seen data on the number of nerve endings removed or injured during circumcision. Not intending to begin an argument about male or female circumcision yet it would be difficult to imagine the number is zero.) Can you get a sense for the feeling a person who has a vulva can get now? I hope this helps you to honor and revere the womxn in your life. There's no need to be jealous or try to control womxn - celebrate what God/nature/the Universe has blessed them with. Show respect for that gift.
The clitoris has one sole function: PLEASURE.
God, universe, nature . whatever you believe in - designed the clitoris to have this one function. Any attempts to change that purpose are man-made.
The clitoris has one sole function: PLEASURE.
God, universe, nature . whatever you believe in - designed the clitoris to have this one function. Any attempts to change that purpose are man-made.
This is a tough question to answer definitively. Why? Because every woman is different. Of course there are some areas of the human body that are going to feel good when stimulated - we have primary and secondary erogenous zones to thank for that - but what works for one woman won't necessarily work for the next woman. The best thing you can do is ASK the woman in question. If she can tell you, great! You're set. And if she doesn't really know, EXPLORE together. With her permission, ask if you can watch her masturbate AND PAY ATTENTION so you can learn by watching what she does that feels good to her. That assignment might be tough because she may not have ever masturbated, let alone in front of another person. Your attitude is going to make or break things. Do not push, or tease, or shame. Show her love, support, understanding, compassion. There may be any number of reasons behind any shyness, discomfort, embarrassment or whatever comes up for her. Then, if she gives you permission to do to her what she did, then make sure you ask for feedback to make sure you're doing it right. Try not to get frustrated. Don't take it personally if it feels like she's giving a lot of feedback. Think of it like a love lab. Give her permission to give you directions, that she should not TOLERATE ANYTHING she doesn't like. How else will you get better if she just grins and bears it? I want to give you props for asking this question. It shows you care to give your partner pleasure. That's huge! And remember this: sex is a journey and orgasm is not the destination. Just enjoy the pleasure that comes along for the ride.
This is a tough question to answer definitively. Why? Because every woman is different. Of course there are some areas of the human body that are going to feel good when stimulated - we have primary and secondary erogenous zones to thank for that - but what works for one woman won't necessarily work for the next woman. The best thing you can do is ASK the woman in question. If she can tell you, great! You're set. And if she doesn't really know, EXPLORE together. With her permission, ask if you can watch her masturbate AND PAY ATTENTION so you can learn by watching what she does that feels good to her. That assignment might be tough because she may not have ever masturbated, let alone in front of another person. Your attitude is going to make or break things. Do not push, or tease, or shame. Show her love, support, understanding, compassion. There may be any number of reasons behind any shyness, discomfort, embarrassment or whatever comes up for her. Then, if she gives you permission to do to her what she did, then make sure you ask for feedback to make sure you're doing it right. Try not to get frustrated. Don't take it personally if it feels like she's giving a lot of feedback. Think of it like a love lab. Give her permission to give you directions, that she should not TOLERATE ANYTHING she doesn't like. How else will you get better if she just grins and bears it? I want to give you props for asking this question. It shows you care to give your partner pleasure. That's huge! And remember this: sex is a journey and orgasm is not the destination. Just enjoy the pleasure that comes along for the ride.
I can see the question and the link but I cannot determine which ob/gyn the OP is referring to as frighteningly ignorant.
I can see the question and the link but I cannot determine which ob/gyn the OP is referring to as frighteningly ignorant.