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toys Question & Answer


No.

I guess I've gotten used to it. It's no less messy than when people spit into their palm and use that. Some friends have put lube into a hands-free soap dispenser so they wave their hand under the sensor and lube comes out. Even less messy!

Lube is fantastic, though I'm a snob and like to use top quality ingredients


Published Date : 9/19/2018

No.

I guess I've gotten used to it. It's no less messy than when people spit into their palm and use that. Some friends have put lube into a hands-free soap dispenser so they wave their hand under the sensor and lube comes out. Even less messy!

Lube is fantastic, though I'm a snob and like to use top quality ingredients


Published Date : 9/19/2018

No.

?Virginity? is traditionally defined as ?lost? when a penis enters a vagina.

?Virginity? is also a social construct. It?s an arbitrary marker that is rooted in heterosexism and patriarchy.

I prefer the concept of a ?sexual debut.? One where YOU get to define when you become sexual (otherwise known as ?losing your virginity?). If using a dildo marks the beginning of your sexual experiences, great! If your first orgasm with a partner does, that?s fine too. You could have many sexual debuts. And none of them take anything away from you.


Published Date : 8/24/2018

No.

?Virginity? is traditionally defined as ?lost? when a penis enters a vagina.

?Virginity? is also a social construct. It?s an arbitrary marker that is rooted in heterosexism and patriarchy.

I prefer the concept of a ?sexual debut.? One where YOU get to define when you become sexual (otherwise known as ?losing your virginity?). If using a dildo marks the beginning of your sexual experiences, great! If your first orgasm with a partner does, that?s fine too. You could have many sexual debuts. And none of them take anything away from you.


Published Date : 8/24/2018

Cock rings work to hold blood in the penis and minimize the flow of blood out, thus making an erection feel fuller, bigger, or harder.

Surprisingly, some folks think there's a bone in the penis and that's what makes it hard. I've even had people argue with me, saying ?why else do they call it a boner??

Sweetie, no.

The penis has spongy bodies (corpus cavernosum and corpus spongiosum) which fill up with blood (aka engorge?) when you get an erection.

A person might choose to use a cock ring to make their erection feel more intense or last longer too.

Choosing a safe cock ring is really important though. I don't recommend using items you find around the house for this.

My advice: buy one from a legitimate and reputable shop that sells sexual devices. Often there are sales people who know their products and can help finding the right one for you.

Silicon cock rings can be a good beginner toy. Get one that is super stretchy. It should fit snugly, but not too tight.

You can wear it at the base of your penis OR stretch it all the way around your penis (cock?) AND scrotum (balls?). You can always cut the silicon ring off easily in case of emergency.

One with a tiny vibrator can be fun too. You can situate the vibrator so that it sits:

facing up at the base of your penis (this is also good for variations of partnered p/v missionary position sex as it will stimulate the clitoris/vulva), or
facing down between the cock and balls (good for p/v reverse cowgirl position and anal sex), or
underneath the balls so the vibrator sits at the base of your scrotum nearest the perineum (taint?).
What's the harm in using stuff you might find around the house? Potential penile strangulation. What's that? If you are at all squeamish, do NOT click this.

So there you have it. What a cock ring does, why someone might use one, some bonus tips on where to place one, and a bonus word of caution about choosing an appropriate one for your first time.


Published Date : 8/1/2019

Cock rings work to hold blood in the penis and minimize the flow of blood out, thus making an erection feel fuller, bigger, or harder.

Surprisingly, some folks think there's a bone in the penis and that's what makes it hard. I've even had people argue with me, saying ?why else do they call it a boner??

Sweetie, no.

The penis has spongy bodies (corpus cavernosum and corpus spongiosum) which fill up with blood (aka engorge?) when you get an erection.

A person might choose to use a cock ring to make their erection feel more intense or last longer too.

Choosing a safe cock ring is really important though. I don't recommend using items you find around the house for this.

My advice: buy one from a legitimate and reputable shop that sells sexual devices. Often there are sales people who know their products and can help finding the right one for you.

Silicon cock rings can be a good beginner toy. Get one that is super stretchy. It should fit snugly, but not too tight.

You can wear it at the base of your penis OR stretch it all the way around your penis (cock?) AND scrotum (balls?). You can always cut the silicon ring off easily in case of emergency.

One with a tiny vibrator can be fun too. You can situate the vibrator so that it sits:

facing up at the base of your penis (this is also good for variations of partnered p/v missionary position sex as it will stimulate the clitoris/vulva), or
facing down between the cock and balls (good for p/v reverse cowgirl position and anal sex), or
underneath the balls so the vibrator sits at the base of your scrotum nearest the perineum (taint?).
What's the harm in using stuff you might find around the house? Potential penile strangulation. What's that? If you are at all squeamish, do NOT click this.

So there you have it. What a cock ring does, why someone might use one, some bonus tips on where to place one, and a bonus word of caution about choosing an appropriate one for your first time.


Published Date : 8/1/2019

Weird feelings?? Must be like the weird feelings I have about hearing why you think her taking birth control is any of your business.

Sure you could stop liking her. That's your prerogative.

I challenge you to examine why you would stop liking someone because she is on birth control. Do you actually know the reason she is using birth control or are you making an assumption? Did you know there are other health benefits women get out of using birth control besides preventing pregnancy? Maybe you could do a bit of research to find out the many ways birth control helps and how.

Even if using birth control is to solely to prevent pregnancy then good for her! She must have values, goals, and plans for what she wants to accomplish with her life before she decides to have a baby.

If you cannot or don't want to understand the steps a woman will take to care for her sexual health, then you're better off focusing your attention elsewhere. Let her do her thing.


Published Date : 11/5/2018

Weird feelings?? Must be like the weird feelings I have about hearing why you think her taking birth control is any of your business.

Sure you could stop liking her. That's your prerogative.

I challenge you to examine why you would stop liking someone because she is on birth control. Do you actually know the reason she is using birth control or are you making an assumption? Did you know there are other health benefits women get out of using birth control besides preventing pregnancy? Maybe you could do a bit of research to find out the many ways birth control helps and how.

Even if using birth control is to solely to prevent pregnancy then good for her! She must have values, goals, and plans for what she wants to accomplish with her life before she decides to have a baby.

If you cannot or don't want to understand the steps a woman will take to care for her sexual health, then you're better off focusing your attention elsewhere. Let her do her thing.


Published Date : 11/5/2018

No.

Virginity is a patriarchal social construct that defines penis in vagina sex as the point when a person (usually a woman) loses her virginity.

But what about same sex couples? What about people who were raped? Survivors of unwanted sexual touch? Not to mention the creepy af virginity or purity tests where gross old men put their fingers in a girl or young woman's hoo ha (vagina) to detect for a hymen they think is a Freshness Seal??. Feel free to push back on this virginity concept.

I prefer to encourage people to claim their own sexual debut- when they first became sexual (alone or with others). This way we can celebrate any of the sexual behaviors or even your first orgasm (alone or partnered :D) as the right of passage it is.


Published Date : 11/5/2018

No.

Virginity is a patriarchal social construct that defines penis in vagina sex as the point when a person (usually a woman) loses her virginity.

But what about same sex couples? What about people who were raped? Survivors of unwanted sexual touch? Not to mention the creepy af virginity or purity tests where gross old men put their fingers in a girl or young woman's hoo ha (vagina) to detect for a hymen they think is a Freshness Seal??. Feel free to push back on this virginity concept.

I prefer to encourage people to claim their own sexual debut- when they first became sexual (alone or with others). This way we can celebrate any of the sexual behaviors or even your first orgasm (alone or partnered :D) as the right of passage it is.


Published Date : 11/5/2018