How Steve Jobs’ Commencement Address fit my life.

Posted in   The MamaSutra   on  January 29, 2015 by  Lanae minutes remaining
(Originally Posted on Edited from the original post.)

Yesterday, I watched the Commencement Address Steve Jobs did at Stanford U “How to live before you die” back in June 2005.  There were lots of points that had an impact on me, but none more than the following part.

This excerpt comes from his second section about Love and Loss starting at time point 7:14.  It is not an exact transcription; the italics are where I have added a word or words that fit me and my situation instead.  đŸ˜‰


I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting a divorce was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being married was replaced by the lightness of being single again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next two years, I started school at IASHSstarted blogging for Good Vibrations Magazine, and started to create the career that I really wanted when I got out of undergrad. […]

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t gotten a divorce. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that keeps me going was that I love what I do. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.


Cheesy that it fits me or that I think it does?  Maybe.  But if nothing else, “If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle” is my new mantra.  Thank you Steve Jobs.  Rest in Peace.

Update: I’m posting this now for a couple reasons. Another 3 years have passed. Recently, I stepped back from blogging on a regular basis to complete my Doctorate in Human Sexuality and to balance that with family and fun time. I’ve received messages from some of you telling me you missed me; thank you for those. The schoolwork is done, it’s a new year, and I’m ready to get back up here. Thank you for your patience.


The MamaSutra

About the Author Lanae

Dr. Lanae St.John is a Diplomate of the American Board of Sexology and certified sex coach with a background in sexology and a passion for helping people improve their sexual health and relationships. She is the author of "Read Me: A Parental Primer for "The Talk"" and the upcoming "You Are the One: How stopping the search and looking inside will lead you to your romantic destiny," and is committed to staying up-to-date on the latest research and trends in the field. Dr. St.John aims to share her knowledge and expertise in a relatable and approachable way through her blog on

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