… “Make your p*ssy tight like an a$$hole, then your hubby will stop pushing you for anal.”
There are a few products that rise to the surface of the sex toy heap. I have two favorites that I just HAD to share with you because of my love for them – The FLEX and the LUNA.
The LUNA Smart Bead by LELO is truly the Personal Trainer for your Pussy.
…alright, Vagina. Seriously, this little item is like the most fun I have had with a sex toy in a while!
When the package arrived, I opened it with glee. Within minutes of opening I had put the battery in and was ready to take it for a test drive. I had places to be in the afternoon, yet they were going to have to wait.
The Smart Bead is pretty easy to use. Once you press the little “o” on the side, you have about 30 seconds to insert it like a tampon. The instructions say to insert with the “o” button on the left and to let the little string hang out of nature’s pocket (vagina) “for safety and easy removal”. Three quick vibrations let you know the program is about to begin. Then, when you feel a buzz, you squeeze and hold your pubococcygeus muscles (the ones you use to stop the flow of urine) for the duration of the buzz and relax when it stops. Repeat as often as it buzzes. The first training session adjusts your training to your starting fitness level. It lasts maybe five or so minutes and then it’s done. Three quick vibrations signal the end of the routine and the Smart Bead turns itself off. That’s it! After your training, the LUNA Smart Bead remembers where you left off the exercise program.
There are five training levels – Beginner through Master. The Bead starts at level 3 but adjusts based on your initial performance. Don’t be discouraged if it goes back to a lower level. I don’t do my own Kegel exercises regularly and mine set me back to level one. But that only makes me want to train more! Which brings me to this…
If you’re not comfortable with anything buzzing in your cooch (vagina) you will LOVE OhMiBod’s Lovelife FLEX. It comes with three separate kegel weights that look like long-stemmed cherries for graduated strength training (35g, 45g, and 85g. I’m not to 85g…yet). Kegel exercise is not one I personally view as a sexual act. It’s not like having a penis or dildo inside of you. It’s more like lifting weights. These products do the job in their own way to tone and train your pubococcygeus (pc) muscles. I use the FLEX now for running errands, driving kids to school. Do you have any idea how challenging it is to keep one of these weights solidly inside you while out and about? Achievement unlocked! Right now I have only tried short quick trips but soon I’ll try the FLEX out dancing some night.
Both of these products are beautifully packaged inside solid, tasteful boxes. I am a snob when it comes to the material a toy is made of and both the FLEX and LUNA fulfill my requirement: they are all made of smooth, soft body-safe silicone. Both have a pretty satin pouch for private transport. And while I don’t require all of my toys be pink, the LUNA is a nice shade of ballet slipper pink and the FLEX is a hearty (see what I did there?) deep fuchsia. Because both the LUNA and the FLEX are silicone, they should be used with water-based lube only otherwise you will ruin the surface. They have cords on the end for easy removal. Cleaning with mild soap and water after use is a snap as well.
(Note: because neither the LUNA nor the FLEX have a flared base they should NOT be used anally.)
After the first training session, I started thinking of my friends who recently became parents and how this would be a great product for them. Dads, you should consider this as a present for your partners, who just pushed 9 or so pounds out of their hooha (vagina), although my C-Section sisters will love it too. Not just all those new gifts for baby, mom deserves to have nice things for her too.
Moms, I can’t imagine a better way to pass the time during breastfeeding. Sure, breast-feeding is beautiful and snuggling with the baby is adorable but to tell you the truth, after that initial bliss of feeding a baby from my breast, I eventually found myself getting bored. I can only binge watch so much Netflix. Come to think of it, one can still binge watch, breast feed, AND do kegels; Women are the ultimate multitaskers.
Besides, this exercise has long-term sexual health benefits for women: doing kegel exercises regularly works to strengthen the pelvic floor (especially before, during, and after pregnancy), reinforces muscle control during intercourse, improves bladder control, and leads to longer, stronger orgasms. I wish there was a personal trainer like this when I was pregnant and after giving birth. Even if you are not pregnant, nor plan to be anytime soon, the LUNA Smart Bead is great training for all women of all ages.
(The first night, my daughters approached me in the bathroom and asked what that pink, cute device was. I had left it out on the counter to dry after washing it. [Side note: You would think one of these days these two would stop asking what’s on my counter because it always seems to be something related to sex.] I told them it was a toy that a woman inserts like a tampon and it runs a training program for the pelvic floor muscles. My youngest had a deer-in-the-headlights look on her face while the oldest asked for more information. I explained that the pelvic floor muscles are the ones that we use to stop the flow of pee when we urinate. Marcia chimed in, “Oh, I do that!” I told her that was great and that those were Kegel exercises. Cindy rolled her eyes at her big sis as if to say, “Suck up”.)
This product has so much value for women’s sexual health. I am especially excited that I don’t need to stress about what to wear to the gym to train, nor drive to a health club. I don’t even have to get out of my bed! I am going to have so much fun with the LUNA and the FLEX.
Guess I’ll need to put that “Longer, Stronger Orgasms” claim to the test… Wish me luck!
OhMiBod’s Lovelife FLEX sells for $45 on goodvibes.com
LELO’s LUNA Smart Bead sells for $109 on lelo.com. It’s not yet in many stores as it’s brand new.
p.s. There’s nothing wrong with anal sex. If that’s what you’re into. That title struck me as funny because I’ve had girlfriend’s complain their partners wanted to get into anal sex. I’m of the mind that if it’s good for the goose, it’s good for the gander. 😉 #Pegging