Open Letter to the Hosts of “The Talk”

Posted in   Dr. Lanae   on  October 21, 2010 by  Lanae minutes remaining

“Talking to your kids about sex”? That was awful

Dear Hosts,

I thought the segment was terrible. The experts were trying to help and gave great EXPERT advice (expert being the operative word). Drs. Berman and Buckley were right on the money. I think the issue here is more that your host/interviewer was sexualizing a topic that is a natural part of human behavior… it’s how we all came into this world isn’t it?

I wasn’t particularly pleased to see the obvious judgment on Marissa’s face in her on-the-street interviews either. Judgment or sex negativity doesn’t help anyone. In fact, don’t most people just want to know that they are “normal” when it comes to sex and sexuality?

The experts are not giving advice that parents sit down and go through the How-To’s of penile/vaginal sex with a two year old; that IS too much info. They were advocating simply proper names. Yes they may be clinical sounding but they are correct. Also certainly less silly than HooHoo or Cupcake (Really Leah?! Cupcake? Can’t WAIT until she is a teenager with THAT one.) Thank you Holly for seeing the sense in this.

It is important to remember that we as adults tend to sexualize things that a child does NOT see as sexual. I think this fact is an important piece to remember: When a child overhears that two people are sleeping together, they picture two people snuggling in the same bed (something they probably like to do with Mom or Dad), whereas an adult pictures the “Sleeping Together” we all know and love. This is sexualization, making something sexual or attributing sex or a sex role.

I applaud the efforts of Drs. Berman and Buckley. I just wish the best parts of their interviews didn’t end up on the cutting room floor. Shame on you editors! Well, I guess the upside is you highlight all the work we sexologists have ahead of us.

The MamaSutra


About the Author Lanae

Dr. Lanae St.John is a Diplomate of the American Board of Sexology and certified sex coach with a background in sexology and a passion for helping people improve their sexual health and relationships. She is the author of "Read Me: A Parental Primer for "The Talk"" and the upcoming "You Are the One: How stopping the search and looking inside will lead you to your romantic destiny," and is committed to staying up-to-date on the latest research and trends in the field. Dr. St.John aims to share her knowledge and expertise in a relatable and approachable way through her blog on

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