Self-Love: My Top New Year’s Resolution for 2018

Posted in   The MamaSutra   on  January 1, 2018 by  Lanae minutes remaining
  • 2018 is at the doorstep. Self love new years resolution

It is finally the end of 2017, a bit of a tough year for lots of people. I like to take some time at the end of the year to reflect, stop, and do some assessment. I ask myself questions like: how do I feel about my life? My relationships? How did I do working toward my goals of last year? Did I derail anywhere – if so, when and how? I try to accept responsibility for where I failed (and talk about it with my kids, mostly so they can see it’s okay to do so). Self-love new years resolution.  can be so easy to blame outside influences for failing to achieve what I set out to do.

Often, to do better next year, people set out to establish New Year’s Resolutions.

One of my favorite body image blogs sent a newsletter out with a call to action to change up the resolutions. “New Year, New You? No Way?” Some words resonated with me; founder Taryn Brumfitt said,

There is nothing wrong with who you currently are. We love that person, that person is perfect as they are, and our ‘new year’s’ wish for you is that you will embrace them too.

I am not one to set resolutions – scratch that – KEEP resolutions. Self-love new years resolution.

I don’t like to be told what to do (#brat) even when it’s me doing the bossing.

In the past, I preferred to look at this time of year for setting annual goals instead. I’m sure it says something about me that these goals were usually small and attainable. Even over shootable. For example, I once set a goal to consume one book per month. Thanks to, I blew through 28 books. Books that I otherwise could not read while shuttling kids around town (That limitation ends soon – this year my oldest can get her Driving Permit. OMG!).

Not my problem.

This year

I was inspired by what Taryn said, so I’m going to name it and claim it. In hopes of keeping myself honest, I’m sharing with you my goals. In 2018, I am going to focus on self-care/self-love and teaching the same to my kids. Yes, as a sex educator I know that term “self-love” is a euphemism for masturbation. Self-love new years resolution. Even when the word is meant to be non-sexual, it gets mixed up with a whole lot of wide-eyed looks and pearl-clutching (*gasp* Does she mean masturbation??). I will claim THAT AND ALL of the kinds of self-care that one does not immediately think of, like:

  • start self-massage,
  • more walks,
  • more time spent with my kids,
  • put down my phone more,
  • plan more leisurely tub nights,
  • more meditation,
  • more holding my boundaries (I’m talking to you, men-who-want-me-to-teach-“masturbation-coaching.” No shame guys; I would have no problem taking your money for that but nowhere do I offer that se!)
  • etc.

**Notice none of these self-love items is any added cost like “going to the spa more” would be. Self-love new years resolution.

Self-love and self-care are synonymous for me and really important. I know there have been times that I sacrificed what I wanted in order to serve someone else. Self-love New Year resolution. I want to unlearn that, make sure my daughters see me do this, and embrace the many ways I can come up with to take care of myself. Stay tuned for a series of self-love/self-care posts on my Instagram page.

Branching out in 2018. Self-love new years resolution

Me, getting organized.

Also, business-wise, I am finally getting some more of my shit together. Doing this enables me to accomplish another goal; put a content plan in place for my blog posts, meaning more posts related to the unique days and months that come up throughout the year. Self-love New Year resolution. So, more of what you already get but on a regular basis PLUS I am finally releasing the book “Raising Sex Smart Kids” (2 years waiting), coming out with workbooks, more workshops, a new website, more giveaways, a couple of ebooks, maybe even some wellness products! *wipes brow*

Educate, Entertain, and Empower

With a goal to “Educate, Entertain, and Empower” as my overarching theme, I hope you will recognize that in the content that shows up on my social media pages. Self-love New Year resolution. You know where to find me (basically, @themamasutra everywhere).

What else?

Another goal is to share more sexual health and wellness. Self-love new years resolution. I had a case of stress-induced shingles that kicked my ass last August and a friend from India taught me how to heal myself. No lie. I declined the narcotics the physician at the walk-in clinic suggested, and when the pain hit I was ready to call her up after hours and BEG. It turned out I didn’t need to. That then lead me to study and adopt the practice of Ayurveda. What I am learning is pretty cool; they are my kind of lifestyle practices. Self-love new years resolution. You will see me write about what I’m doing for that as well.

A Request

For me, this is also self-care – asking for what I want. One thing I request of you – if you’re up for it that is (#consent); if you don’t hear from me, call me out. Email me. Vulnerable share: I’m needy too; I want to know what’s working for you, what you like, and what needs to go.

I’m here for helping you have happy, healthy sex lives. I’m here for helping you learn why it’s important to be a parent who stands up for sexual justice, making sure kids get accurate information about dating, love, relationships, AND sex, and how to do so on a day-to-day basis. These are what excite me on a daily basis.

Add yourself to my email list and you will be the first to see everything new to my site.

If you decide to try showing yourself more self-love in 2018, let me know what your favorite method is. If you try something new, tell me what you learned about yourself.

Wishing you peace, love, and happiness in 2018!



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About the Author Lanae

Dr. Lanae St.John is a Diplomate of the American Board of Sexology and certified sex coach with a background in sexology and a passion for helping people improve their sexual health and relationships. She is the author of "Read Me: A Parental Primer for "The Talk"" and the upcoming "You Are the One: How stopping the search and looking inside will lead you to your romantic destiny," and is committed to staying up-to-date on the latest research and trends in the field. Dr. St.John aims to share her knowledge and expertise in a relatable and approachable way through her blog on

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