It is weird for sure. Why? I guess he could be one of these guys, thinking they're engaging in some harmless psychological fun? (see pic)
https://incels.me/threads/fright...
Creepy AF, right?!
(And I'm guessing he's not out of your league.?)
Since it's in a public space on the ferry, I'd move to another seat. Next time he holds the door, smile and gesture for him to go through instead. Let him go ahead of you to get settled and then go elsewhere far away but still amongst people.
If you're feeling intimidated, and you?ve already tried the above, speak to an official on the ferry to point this strange man out and watch his behavior with you so you have a witness, then go the the police to report his menacing behavior. You never know, maybe someone else has complained about him too.
It is weird for sure. Why? I guess he could be one of these guys, thinking they're engaging in some harmless psychological fun? (see pic)
https://incels.me/threads/fright...
Creepy AF, right?!
(And I'm guessing he's not out of your league.?)
Since it's in a public space on the ferry, I'd move to another seat. Next time he holds the door, smile and gesture for him to go through instead. Let him go ahead of you to get settled and then go elsewhere far away but still amongst people.
If you're feeling intimidated, and you?ve already tried the above, speak to an official on the ferry to point this strange man out and watch his behavior with you so you have a witness, then go the the police to report his menacing behavior. You never know, maybe someone else has complained about him too.
If you asked me this a year or two out of my marriage I would have said NO WAY! I do NOT want to marry again! A few more years down this path I have a different idea - AND a different idea of how I'd want the marriage ceremony to go.
You can design your relationship however the two of you agree. Don't necessarily take the off-the-shelf version everyone else does just because that's how it's done. Really think it through what you both need for this journey. And then do that.
The drawn out divorces are shitty for sure. If you can commit to being friends and uphold that at then very least then I think there's less likelyhood of things ending up contentious again.
If you asked me this a year or two out of my marriage I would have said NO WAY! I do NOT want to marry again! A few more years down this path I have a different idea - AND a different idea of how I'd want the marriage ceremony to go.
You can design your relationship however the two of you agree. Don't necessarily take the off-the-shelf version everyone else does just because that's how it's done. Really think it through what you both need for this journey. And then do that.
The drawn out divorces are shitty for sure. If you can commit to being friends and uphold that at then very least then I think there's less likelyhood of things ending up contentious again.
At first read, I tend to think your boyfriend has touch needs that aren't getting met. Regular old platonic, nurturing, affectionate touch. One approach could be to perhaps spend more time cuddling, holding each other lovingly without sex or intercourse being the end goal.
To make his desire just a result of being male is a bit overly simplistic, in my opinion. American culture isn't too permissive for men to show many emotions other than anger, or passion for his sports team, and of course, lust for sex. To limit to these three emotions is not allowing us to see something very important: Men are much more complex than we allow them to be.
Reflecting on your question again, I'm curious about your word choice in a couple areas: You use the word always. Some people I've superlatives like never and always when that is really not the case. How often is always.Have you tried to meet him in a public space? Does he try there too? You could say, I notice when we get together you always want to get it on. Tell me about that? He might share some interesting information with you. Ideally it sheds light on your question.
The other word choice I want to point out is your phrase sex from me. Someone else might say sex with me. I don't know you at all to know if this reflects your personal attitudes toward sex OR if you're feeling used by him. It's important for you to share your exact feeling with him. When we get together and you want sex from me, I don't get the sense you .see me?/want to get to know me/want to really connect with me? - you fill in what applies to you. A good partner won't want their loved one to feel used, they'd want to show love? (unless that?s his kink and something the two of you want to explore in your relationship agreement).
Talk to him. Get your feeling out there and make it clear his feelings are mentionable as well (then make sure they are and you don't begin to shame him because you think he's being soft? or girly? or some shaming crap like that!!)
At first read, I tend to think your boyfriend has touch needs that aren't getting met. Regular old platonic, nurturing, affectionate touch. One approach could be to perhaps spend more time cuddling, holding each other lovingly without sex or intercourse being the end goal.
To make his desire just a result of being male is a bit overly simplistic, in my opinion. American culture isn't too permissive for men to show many emotions other than anger, or passion for his sports team, and of course, lust for sex. To limit to these three emotions is not allowing us to see something very important: Men are much more complex than we allow them to be.
Reflecting on your question again, I'm curious about your word choice in a couple areas: You use the word always. Some people I've superlatives like never and always when that is really not the case. How often is always.Have you tried to meet him in a public space? Does he try there too? You could say, I notice when we get together you always want to get it on. Tell me about that? He might share some interesting information with you. Ideally it sheds light on your question.
The other word choice I want to point out is your phrase sex from me. Someone else might say sex with me. I don't know you at all to know if this reflects your personal attitudes toward sex OR if you're feeling used by him. It's important for you to share your exact feeling with him. When we get together and you want sex from me, I don't get the sense you .see me?/want to get to know me/want to really connect with me? - you fill in what applies to you. A good partner won't want their loved one to feel used, they'd want to show love? (unless that?s his kink and something the two of you want to explore in your relationship agreement).
Talk to him. Get your feeling out there and make it clear his feelings are mentionable as well (then make sure they are and you don't begin to shame him because you think he's being soft? or girly? or some shaming crap like that!!)
Probably because you?re acting like a controlling jerk.
It makes me think back to the young me. If we were dating and you made the same demand of me, I wouldn?t tell you either. Why? Because I don?t like to be told who I can talk to. If you gave me a solid reason that I can understand, then maybe I?d reconsider hanging around this other guy.
Examine why YOU don?t want her to hang around with him. Off the cuff, my guess points to immaturity, insecurity, possessiveness, jealousy? I could keep going. Take your pick. None of these are redeeming qualities if you ask me.
Why don?t you examine what it is and figure out specifically what it is about him that makes you feel the way you do. Is he creepy? Is he involved in illegal business? Do you know something about him you haven?t shared with her? Are you afraid he is going to try to fuck her?
Or is it really about her: you think she won?t be able to resist his penis and she?ll sleep with him? Or something else?
To be fair, a SMALL piece of this could be on her too. (Small. Make no mistake, You really have to own the jealous controlling boyfriend bullshit and figure out how to get through that).
I think she doesn?t sound that mature either if she cannot talk to you. That is, unless you have threatened her, made any sort of micro aggression toward her, or otherwise shown yourself to be verbally or physically violent. And that?s NOT cool. My guess is she didn?t tell you because you have shown yourself to not be a safe person to disclose things like this to. Which is not good.
If you don?t resolve this issue of yours then I fear for your future relationships. You may keep finding people who go behind your back, especially if they are scared of you or think they really can?t talk to you.
Probably because you?re acting like a controlling jerk.
It makes me think back to the young me. If we were dating and you made the same demand of me, I wouldn?t tell you either. Why? Because I don?t like to be told who I can talk to. If you gave me a solid reason that I can understand, then maybe I?d reconsider hanging around this other guy.
Examine why YOU don?t want her to hang around with him. Off the cuff, my guess points to immaturity, insecurity, possessiveness, jealousy? I could keep going. Take your pick. None of these are redeeming qualities if you ask me.
Why don?t you examine what it is and figure out specifically what it is about him that makes you feel the way you do. Is he creepy? Is he involved in illegal business? Do you know something about him you haven?t shared with her? Are you afraid he is going to try to fuck her?
Or is it really about her: you think she won?t be able to resist his penis and she?ll sleep with him? Or something else?
To be fair, a SMALL piece of this could be on her too. (Small. Make no mistake, You really have to own the jealous controlling boyfriend bullshit and figure out how to get through that).
I think she doesn?t sound that mature either if she cannot talk to you. That is, unless you have threatened her, made any sort of micro aggression toward her, or otherwise shown yourself to be verbally or physically violent. And that?s NOT cool. My guess is she didn?t tell you because you have shown yourself to not be a safe person to disclose things like this to. Which is not good.
If you don?t resolve this issue of yours then I fear for your future relationships. You may keep finding people who go behind your back, especially if they are scared of you or think they really can?t talk to you.
No.
Again, no.
It is NOT a parent's job, nor the job of any older sibling or adult, to usher a child into sexual behaviors.
There would be no way I would say yes to this. I wouldn't consider this all.
To be clear, I wouldn't let ANYONE have sex with me**? just because they had feelings for me. I probably don't have feelings for him. Isn't that important Like, bruh, don't *my* feelings matter?
Also, **that sounds oddly allowing. I'm not an object.
No.
Again, no.
It is NOT a parent's job, nor the job of any older sibling or adult, to usher a child into sexual behaviors.
There would be no way I would say yes to this. I wouldn't consider this all.
To be clear, I wouldn't let ANYONE have sex with me**? just because they had feelings for me. I probably don't have feelings for him. Isn't that important Like, bruh, don't *my* feelings matter?
Also, **that sounds oddly allowing. I'm not an object.
What would I do, or what would I want my partner to do?
I'd want my partner to breathe hot air on my neck. Having him that close to me so that I can also smell him is hot .
If it were me, I'd get real close and sniff him. By now, he knows this is something that turns him on and we get each other turned on this way.
Is that what you were looking for?
What would I do, or what would I want my partner to do?
I'd want my partner to breathe hot air on my neck. Having him that close to me so that I can also smell him is hot .
If it were me, I'd get real close and sniff him. By now, he knows this is something that turns him on and we get each other turned on this way.
Is that what you were looking for?
That men don't read the profiles and come up with a nice opening line that somehow relates to what's been written in the profile.
And that when they come up with a date, it's boring - dinner, drinks, coffee. Collaborate on something fun like going to an arcade, a museum, the symphony, a ball game, something different and unique.
I get that those can be expensive dates, so start screening using facetime as the first date. See if you have anything in common to talk about and, if it peaks your interest, then meet in person. Save time and money. I don't want to waste my time and I'm sure you don't either.
That men don't read the profiles and come up with a nice opening line that somehow relates to what's been written in the profile.
And that when they come up with a date, it's boring - dinner, drinks, coffee. Collaborate on something fun like going to an arcade, a museum, the symphony, a ball game, something different and unique.
I get that those can be expensive dates, so start screening using facetime as the first date. See if you have anything in common to talk about and, if it peaks your interest, then meet in person. Save time and money. I don't want to waste my time and I'm sure you don't either.
You're asking this under the dating etiquette but it's about someone you're not dating.
I'm not sure I understand the context of this question... (And when you say girl? I'm picturing an adolescent under 18 years of age - do you mean young woman??)
Why are you asking a girl to share a really small bed with someone they're not dating in the first place? From here on, I'm answering for a woman, not a girl.
Sure, it is possible for two people to sleep in the same bed. And it is possible for two people sharing a bed to not have sexual intercourse - married couples around the world do this regularly.
Normally if a woman is not comfortable sleeping in bed with a member of the opposite sex it's because they fear that other person in the bed might have roaming hands and try to initiate unwanted sexual activity or worse, try to overpower them and rape them.
Even better, instead of making it necessary for a woman to share a really small bed with a guy, ask her what her preference is for sleeping arrangements - same gender, opposite gender, or alone.
If you cannot provide the type of space where a woman would feel safe, then make arrangements for separate beds.
You're asking this under the dating etiquette but it's about someone you're not dating.
I'm not sure I understand the context of this question... (And when you say girl? I'm picturing an adolescent under 18 years of age - do you mean young woman??)
Why are you asking a girl to share a really small bed with someone they're not dating in the first place? From here on, I'm answering for a woman, not a girl.
Sure, it is possible for two people to sleep in the same bed. And it is possible for two people sharing a bed to not have sexual intercourse - married couples around the world do this regularly.
Normally if a woman is not comfortable sleeping in bed with a member of the opposite sex it's because they fear that other person in the bed might have roaming hands and try to initiate unwanted sexual activity or worse, try to overpower them and rape them.
Even better, instead of making it necessary for a woman to share a really small bed with a guy, ask her what her preference is for sleeping arrangements - same gender, opposite gender, or alone.
If you cannot provide the type of space where a woman would feel safe, then make arrangements for separate beds.
No, this would not make you a bad person but be careful of the unintended messages around doing so. Perhaps make 1:1 time with your spouse's child so they can feel special too.
I'm sure you have good reasons to want to do this type of weekend trip; get clear on them so you can communicate them to the appropriate parties.
If it's a big age difference and taking the stepchild along would shift the focus of the trip, say that. If you're doing this because you don't like the other child then that sucks. That's conditional love and the child (and spouse) are going to pick up on that.
Again, find some time to spend 1:1 with the step child too. It might not be a weekend long but do try to be generous to them as well.
No, this would not make you a bad person but be careful of the unintended messages around doing so. Perhaps make 1:1 time with your spouse's child so they can feel special too.
I'm sure you have good reasons to want to do this type of weekend trip; get clear on them so you can communicate them to the appropriate parties.
If it's a big age difference and taking the stepchild along would shift the focus of the trip, say that. If you're doing this because you don't like the other child then that sucks. That's conditional love and the child (and spouse) are going to pick up on that.
Again, find some time to spend 1:1 with the step child too. It might not be a weekend long but do try to be generous to them as well.
Why not? Make sure it's something she wants to attend too.
Keep in mind that you probably won't be able to talk much. At least not until the end or just before.
One considerate thing you could do, especially if it's a loud one, is provide ear plugs for hearing protection.
Why not? Make sure it's something she wants to attend too.
Keep in mind that you probably won't be able to talk much. At least not until the end or just before.
One considerate thing you could do, especially if it's a loud one, is provide ear plugs for hearing protection.