Satisfyer toy sucks. WOW.

Wow.

I’m impressed.

Satisfyer toy sucks. I finally got a chance to break out the new toy and the @satisfyerpro2 definitely sucks. 😉 God Bless German Engineering. #sextoys #review #sexologistlife #newtoy #satisfyer #satisfyerpro2 #sexualhealth #gobielefeld #deutschland

Satisfyer toy sucks. That was the post that went with the Instagram pic after I got a chance to try out a new toy. I say “toy, ” but I feel calling it is too minimizing; this is indeed a sexual health device.

The Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation is the first clitoral stimulation vibrator that I’ve had a chance to try, and I was delighted. Satisfyer toy sucksThe mechanics behind this device is that the white, oval, silicon-bumpered opening gently fits over the clitoral hood and envelops the clitoris. Turn on the motor and away you go.

How Does It Work. Satisfyer toy sucks

The motor turns that silicone bumper into a bit of a suction cup and pumps the air inside a little like a plunger. How does it feel? It feels like sucking on your clitoris but indirectly. The air pressure is doing the job. In addition to the sucking feeling, the device also vibrates nicely which works to stimulate the entire vulva. In the first few seconds, after I turned it on, I felt a couple of twinges of “oh,” like a little shock wave. Had I been unable to quickly recognize that it wasn’t pain, I may have stopped there. I kept the device in place and proceeded. One or two more twinges and I started to feel my muscles tightening. I really didn’t even get a chance to identify each phase of arousal it was all happening so quickly…

There are multiple levels of intensity on the device – I think there are 11(?) – I don’t even know! All I can recall is I could only handle level 3 – or I should say I was only able to LAST until level 3 because I climaxed probably within 45-60 seconds. Yeah. Less than one minute. You’ve likely already been reading this post longer than I lasted. From someone who can take  q  u  i  t  e   a  w  h  i  l  e  to get warmed up this device got me there in record time; I am amazed. One drawback: the model I tested was unable to back down in intensity. One has to cycle through all levels to get back down to the lowest level. They need to fix that.

Technical Info

This newest model is waterproof so you can play with it in the bath, shower, or hot tub. And cleaning the device is simple as well. Only one piece to remove – peel off the silicone bumper to wash with mild soap and the bumper pops right back on.

I had a chance to do a little bit more play with the Satisfyer as well. I attempted to use this device when I wasn’t “in the mood.” In fact, I was in a really pissy mood. Thank God for physiological arousal. This device was instrumental in changing that tone and rapidly got me to a point I would call “horny.” Another realization is I cannot handle any of the intensity levels over 3. Nope. Can’t do it. It’s ridiculously intense for me. Don’t let that deter you though; everyone is different, and this may be just the ticket though for someone else who likes more intense sucking.

Off Label Use, Satisfyer toy sucks

Another playtime I tried something else. Satisfyer toy sucks.  This part of my review is “off-label” use but no less exciting and may enhance your partner play as well. My partner has a penis, and he was intrigued by my ravings of this device. This tidbit is a bit of a tangent but stays with me. If you would like to learn something remarkable about human reproductive systems, check out this short clip:

So now, back to the review of the Satisfyer. You saw in the clip that the penis and the clitoris have a similar genesis. Those tissues are called homologous tissues. Satisfyer toy sucks. Knowing that my partner and I wondered how this device would feel on the tip of his penis. So in the interest of science, we got busy.

My partner has an uncircumcised penis, and we applied the silicone head to the tip of his penis. He was still flaccid/not erect when we begin the experiment, so we were able to pull the foreskin up and over the silicone bumper. It was tough to keep the ends together – picture trying to empty lotion from one bottle to the other – kind of an awkward start. But, very rapidly his dick got hard. He liked it as well. We did not try to continue to orgasm in this method. I’m sure the entire penis would want to get in on the action, and there are better solutions for that.

I like it when an implement, or any item for that matter, has multiple applications. Satisfyer toy sucks. In the field of sexuality, to turn something like a hands-free soap dispenser into a hands-free lube dispenser, we call that a “pervertable.” I’m wondering what this idea would be called? For now, I’m going with “genius.”

The Wrap Up

Is it expensive? How can you get your hands on one? A Satisfyer Pro 2 is about $40 on Amazon, OR you could win one from me! I happen to have 2 of the Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation to giveaway. This is a smaller and cuter version of the device I tried. Satisfyer toy sucks. The motor and the function are the same. Check here for details on the contest.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I hope you are inspired to go out and get one of these Satisfyer devices of your own. If you do, please come back and share your experience with me in the comments section below.

xoxo,

Lanae

The MamaSutra

p.s., disclosure: I was not paid for this review, but I did get the product for free.

Interested in the various workshops I present? Email me at mamasutra (at) me.com. Satisfyer toy sucks. If you want to work together to get a personalized education about sex and sexuality, contact me here.

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